Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Carrying on... or... School in 2014

We have had a rough year.

My mom passed away in February, which, though difficult for my family and kids especially all in itself, created a cascade of change in our lives.  By May we had uprooted ourselves and done a very quick move into a larger house that my father could join us in.

In March the child of another staff member at our church was diagnosed with a rare blood disorder.  My kids had grown up with her -- she was a permanent fixture in our lives -- and suddenly she was living at Children's Hospital. 

As she deteriorated, many others on staff at our church lost family members -- our pastor's mother-in-law, our organist's dad, musicians losing in-laws and parents and siblings.  Death seemed all around us, all the time.

A trusted protege of my husband's was then arrested for abuse of children.  Our grieving kids had to answer uncomfortable questions and wrap their brains around the fact that someone they had known since he was fifteen ten years ago was not the person we all thought he was. 

Another shoe dropped in June -- the infant son of another friend and church staff member had kidney problems that would require surgery.  An easy one, but through physician error serious complications ensued and he was almost lost.

Our kids' close friend passed away in September, the lack of white cells in her blood leaving her vulnerable to fungal infections that ravaged her body.

I can't process this, how can my children?  They are broken.  They have a new and terrifying awareness of their own vulnerability. 

Tonight, after participating in a beautiful and life-celebrating pageant at church, my 10 year old and two close friends clung to each other in the front pew and wept.  Memories of the friend they lost and her upbeat zest for everything fun had overwhelmed them as they went through the Christmas tradition without her for the first time. 

Grief is a strange thing.  My youngest daughter and I are trying to ride it like waves, but in the midst of a happy moment we can be unexpectedly toppled over, pushed underneath and scraping our still raw emotions on the sands below. 

At the same time, 2014 has had incredible moments -- my daughters were in a production of Les Mis with a Broadway touring cast and became part of a larger theater world, leading us to NYC this summer and into many incredible experiences.

My son spent a summer week at the AMNH in a program with 30 of the best young scientific minds in the world studying evolution and genetics.  We didn't even know how amazing it was that he got in until we showed up in New York.

My dad is getting to really know his grandchildren, and vice versa, something never possible with the thousand+ mile distance.

2014 has not just been difficult for us but for unrelated circles of friends -- deaths, dark diagnoses, especially in children, accidents, suicides.  Marriages in turmoil and families in crisis.  

How have we managed school in this kind of year?

With ups and downs, like everything else. 

My son is dealing with his grief by considering medicine as a field.  Most of his self directed education this year has centered around medicine and it's history, but he has also developed and interest in philosophy and pondering the deeper and unanswerable questions.

My oldest daughter is doing concurrent work at the community college.  She has thrown herself into studying psychology, and, unsurprisingly, she often has new insights on grief and upheaval.

My youngest has begun to seriously take on ASL in memory of her friend that grew up with it.  Will this change the course of her life?  Perhaps.  At the moment she wants to be an interpreter because it was her friend's plan and she is determined to fulfill it for her. 

We are learning not to waste time on things that are not vital, and we are closer as a family than ever before.  We are focusing on things that are precious.  We are looking at the world in new ways and we are accepting the waves of emotion that overtake all of us at odd times. 

Our wishes of "Happy New Year" are going to be more heartfelt than ever before. 

Peace out, 2014.  This homeschool family is very ready for a new year.